Why I Changed OBs in My Third Trimester

Why I Changed OBs in My Third Trimester

I spent a good part of my pregnancy trying to talk myself out of what I was feeling.

Maybe they were just busy.
Maybe I was being too sensitive.
Maybe this was simply what prenatal care looked like.

But underneath all of those explanations was a harder truth:  I did not feel safe in my care.

And that realization took me longer than I wish it had.

Because on paper, nothing looked dramatic. There was no one explosive moment that made me walk out and never go back. Instead, it was a slow accumulation of smaller experiences, questions met with eye rolls or rushed answers, concerns that felt minimized, appointments that left me feeling embarrassed for asking too much… or asking at all.

I kept leaving appointments feeling smaller, with little to no advice, lifestyle recommendations, or practical guidance around navigating a pregnancy that had been labeled high-risk from the very beginning.

By the third trimester, after many conversations with my therapist, I realized I was spending more energy trying to convince myself my care was “fine” than I was actually feeling supported by it.

Through EMDR, I began to recognize that old patterns were keeping me stuck, patterns that led me to minimize discomfort, second-guess myself, and stay longer than necessary in situations that no longer felt right. My therapist gently reminded me that I was allowed to make a change.

Using EMDR future-templing, we worked through what it might look like to advocate for myself, follow through on the decision, and stay grounded afterward. That process helped shift me from feeling trapped… to realizing I actually had choices.

Switching providers that late in pregnancy felt terrifying. But I knew I did not want to carry that level of anxiety into birth. I did not want to continue second-guessing myself in rooms where major decisions were being made about my body and my baby. And I no longer wanted to treat emotional safety as though it were optional.

So I made the change.

Not because I suddenly became fearless, but because I finally reached the point where listening to myself mattered more than keeping the peace.

And almost immediately, I felt the difference.

I felt heard.
I felt respected.
I felt like there was room for me in my own pregnancy again.

Looking back, changing OBs in my third trimester became about much more than switching providers. It became a reminder that good care is not only about credentials or clinical knowledge; it is also about feeling safe enough to ask questions, voice concerns, and participate in decisions about your own care.

I think many women are conditioned to minimize discomfort in medical settings because we don’t want to seem difficult, emotional, or high-maintenance.

But advocating for yourself during pregnancy is not overreacting.

You are allowed to ask questions.
You are allowed to want clear answers.
You are allowed to notice when something feels off.
And you are allowed to trust yourself enough to choose differently.

Sometimes self-trust in motherhood begins long before the baby is even born.