Starting Therapy: Why It’s Okay If It Takes a Few Tries
Starting therapy can feel like a big step. Sometimes it’s exciting, sometimes it’s terrifying, and sometimes it’s both at the same time. I hear so many people say things like, “I should have done this sooner,” or “What if I don’t know what to say?” or “What if it doesn’t help?”
All of those thoughts make sense. Truly.
What I want you to know right from the start is that therapy isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s about showing up as you are, even if that version of you feels messy, tired, overwhelmed, or unsure.
And honestly, even as a therapist, I didn’t magically get it right on the first try either.
Before I ever sat on this side of the couch, I sat on the other one. Actually, more than once.
Over the years, due to relocating and different seasons of life, I saw a few different therapists. Some were helpful, some were fine, and one eventually became my therapist, the one I really clicked with. But it took time, and a few attempts, to find that fit.
At the time, I remember wondering if it was a “me problem.” Was I being too picky? Was I expecting too much? Shouldn’t therapy just work?
What I learned is something I now tell people often. The relationship matters. Therapy is deeply personal, and connection is a huge part of healing. It’s okay if the first or second therapist isn’t the one. That doesn’t mean therapy won’t work for you. It just means you haven’t found the right match yet.
When I did find that therapist, the support became invaluable.
They walked with me through pregnancy, through postpartum, and through the ongoing layers of becoming a mother while still being a whole person. They held space for my fears, my identity shifts, my exhaustion, and my growth. Having a consistent, safe place to land, especially during seasons that can feel isolating or overwhelming, made a profound difference in my life.
And to this day, that experience informs how I show up as a therapist.
I know how vulnerable it feels to start. I know how much courage it takes to say, “I think I need support.” I also know how powerful it can be to have someone sit with you, reflect you back to yourself, and remind you that you’re not broken. You’re human.
If you’re considering therapy, here are a few gentle reminders I want you to carry with you:
You don’t need to be in crisis to start therapy.
You don’t need to have the right words.
It’s okay to interview a therapist and see how it feels
It’s okay if it takes a few tries to find the right fit.
Support during pregnancy and postpartum isn’t a luxury. It’s care.
If you’re in a season of considering therapy, especially during pregnancy or postpartum, I hope this gave you a little clarity and reassurance. You’re always welcome to spend time here, learning more about mental health, motherhood, and what healing can look like at different stages.
