You Don’t Need to Get Back to Normal After Motherhood
At some point after becoming a mother, many women feel an unspoken expectation to return to who they were before. Before pregnancy. Before birth. Before everything changed.
There’s pressure to feel like yourself again, to function the same way, to want the same things. And when that doesn’t happen, it’s easy to wonder if something is wrong.
The truth is, motherhood changes you. And that change is not a failure.
Why “back to normal” doesn’t fit anymore
Motherhood reshapes your body, your nervous system, your priorities, and your sense of identity. Even when you deeply love your child, there can be grief for the version of yourself who existed before.
Wanting pieces of your old self does not mean you regret motherhood. It means you are human and adjusting to a profound life transition.
Healing is not about reversing the change. It’s about integrating who you were with who you are becoming.
The quiet grief no one talks about
Many mothers carry grief that feels confusing or hard to name. Grief for spontaneity. For rest. For a sense of ease. For the way things used to feel simpler.
This grief often goes unspoken because it can coexist with love and gratitude. Both can be true at the same time.
Redefining what healing looks like
Healing after motherhood doesn’t mean feeling exactly like you used to. It means learning what supports you now.
It might look like slower mornings, fewer commitments, or different boundaries. It might look like redefining success or letting go of timelines that no longer make sense.
There is nothing wrong with you for being changed by this season. Change is evidence of impact, not weakness.
Closing reflection
You don’t need to get back to normal. You get to decide what normal looks like now.
Be patient with the version of yourself that is still adjusting. She’s not behind. She’s becoming.
Disclaimer:
The content shared on this website and blog is meant to offer education, encouragement, and support, but it is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic care. Everyone’s journey is unique, and it’s always best to consult with a qualified healthcare or mental health professional about your specific needs or concerns. Reading this blog or connecting through franciswellness.com does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, please reach out to your local emergency services or contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) for free and confidential support 24/7.
